Rest

Tonight, I spoke with my mom about what God has been pouring into me the past week or so. She spoke wisdom to me that I needed at the moment, since I was blind to it.

I related to her how I've been on the go since the last Friday. How, for 9 days, I was constantly doing. And also, how for two weeks in Indiana, I didn't feel like I was preparing spiritually for my trip to India. While in Indiana, I felt lazy and not as connected to God, since I wasn't spending much time in the Word.

And yet, after I said these, my mom paused, and poured out her heart. "Jon, when Christ has you going somewhere to do something for him, He is going to prepare you. Even when you do not feel like you are preparing, He is preparing you. I think that we forget in our Western, product-driven culture that rest is good. I think that Jesus was preparing you in one way in Indiana in the presence of a family who loves Him and you, and who want to dote on you and relax. In Aspen, He prepared you differently, by making you aware of the spirits you'll possibly encounter in India. In Joshua Tree, He really got down to business with your own spirit and spoke to you about what He wants to do to prepare you!"

What a mom.

Out of the Darkness Shines a Great Light

I have been "in the dark" (communications-wise lol) for about nine days. First, I was in Aspen. Then, I arrived back home Friday morning and proceeded almost immediately to Lakewood, close to Long Beach, participating in a dinner to raise money and awareness for our group's mission to India. I was there all day long. That night, after the dinner, I traveled to Joshua Tree National Park to camp, fast, and praise God with nine men from Metro Calvary Chapel (that's my home church).

Since I have been out of the range of communication with anyone outside of a 300-ft. radius this whole time, I have fasted twice. That's a 200% increase in fasting over my total life.

And in those two days of fasting (and their aftermaths), God has spoken very clearly and has begun to clear some thought and behavior patterns out of tHis temple and replaced them with some major ideas. The best way I can summarize these is under the heading My. Yes, that's a capital M.

See, when I refer to God, I use capitals for His name, His pronoun, and His possessives. It is a way to refer to God that I believe shows I consider Him to be more than a lower case. It is by no means my invention, and nor do I mean it to be pretentious. I merely want to give Him His due glory.

Anyway, when He spoke to me last week, He started asking me several questions. "When are you going to accept My grace and stop trying to produce your own? When are you going to start living by My power, and not yours? When are you going to proclaim My name to your friends and family who don't know Me like you do? When are you going to start relying on My wisdom and insight for that which you pray? When are your values going to be My values - justice and freedom for the oppressed and those in bondage, love for your neighbor, to profess to them the
most loving Gift I've given them in My Son's death and resurrection?"

10 months ago I rededicated my life to Christ. I read Scriptures constantly. And I kept it up for a good 8 months. And yet, I didn't see the type of transformation I expected. I know that years of habit are difficult to break, but I thought that God would be able to turn me around in no time, if I only checked off a long list of items I thought would please Him enough to change me.

And yet, rather than transformation, I experienced stagnation. And the more and more stagnant I felt, the more and more I was tempted to give up relationship with my Savior. I would, at points, and things would go back to the way they were, and I would run to Him with my tail between my legs, asking, "When will I care for what you care about? When will I stop this endless cycle?"

And then, I fasted for a day. I gave up physical food on a day when I was in a high-altitude city, hiking and playing soccer. We went to my favorite restaurant in Aspen before my housemate's concert. My stomach yearned for the delicious tacos and nachos I saw at La Cantina. But, God was with me and kept telling me, "Rely on me." Throughout the day, I constantly had to tell Jesus, "I need Your bread of life right now. I need you to sustain me." And He did. The Holy Spirit constantly reminded me that He was with me and that this fast was for a purpose.

When we got home Friday morning, I was ready to go and spend time with our India group to prepare, host, and serve a dinner to sponsors. As I have told several people, I have never been a part of a group that works so well together. Each member was not a cog in the machine, but instead was performing each job so well that they were able to complete them ahead of schedule and help others do what they need to do. When people saw a task that needed to be completed, one, two, or three of us would step up and do it. It gives a whole new meaning to the words "unity in the Body." And to top it all off, my Bible study leader from Metro picked me up to drive us out to meet our pastor and several men from the church at Joshua Tree.

We woke up the next morning and Mike began to draw parallels between physical battle and spiritual battle. I was amazed as Mike and my pastor started talking about the enemy's knowledge of our critical vulnerabilities and how we need to ask God to shore them up. In warfare, a primary principle is to leverage all of your strength against the opponent's weakness. Spiritually, the enemy will take advantage of those critical vulnerabilities, pitting all of his strength against that particular weakness. It makes me wonder how many critical vulnerabilities I actually have. It also drives me to pray that God strengthens those areas, and also that I call on Jesus' strength, because it is at once my ultimate and only strength and the enemy's ultimate weakness. "Where, O Death, is your sting?"

And today, I get to share the gospel with a housemate. I was so much the more bolder for being in the desert and speaking about the realities of Christ and the realities of those who oppose Him. It gave me a heart to really open up to her in a much bolder way than I have before.

Then, Whitney sends me a link to a sermon from Francis Chan about the fact that because God's Spirit lives inside us, we should be the most powerful, boldest people there are. After all, it is the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from death back to life that lives inside us. What a powerful thought!

What an awesome week of reflection, prayer, and listening! May God use this last week before we leave as an awesome extension of that time for me to WALK OUT the ways He's showing me. Pray for our team heavily this week, that God would use us and give us more and more of His power and boldness to proclaim His Light in the midst of great darkness!

P.S. We also received our itinerary today. It is going to be fantastic. Let you know a little more about it soon!

"In Every Nation..."

Acts continues to be my focus in the time leading up to our departure. Acts 10 details the practical broadening of the apostles' mission to "the man in every nation" who "fears Him."

The chapter begins when the Holy Spirit sends messengers from the house of Cornelius, a Roman centurion, to Peter. The two men are in different cities, so as the messengers are on their way to Peter in Joppa, the Holy Spirit visits Peter. "Behold, three men are looking for you. But get up, go downstairs, and accompany them without misgivings, for I have sent them Myself."

The messengers tell Peter who they are and that he is invited by Cornelius to Caesarea to speak a word to his entire house. Peter goes with them to Cornelius' house and, in a humorous introduction, Cornelius immediately bows before Peter and begins to worship him. It says Peter actually pulled him up and told him that he was "too just a man." It seems Cornelius thought it was Peter who was the important part of the story. Peter made it clear from the beginning he was not.

When they get inside, he listens to Cornelius' story. "Four days ago to this hour, I was praying in my house during the ninth hour (about 9 am); and behold, a man stood before me in shining garmenst, and he said...'Therefore send to Joppa and invite Simon, who is also called Peter, to come to you; he is staying at the house of Simon the tanner by the sea.' So I sent for your immediately, and you have been kind enough to come. Now then, we are all here present before God to hear all that you have been commanded by the Lord."

At that point, Peter opens his mouth. "I most certainly understand now that God is not one to show partiality, but in every nation the man who fears Him and does what is right is welcome to Him. The word which He sent to the sons of Israel, preaching peace through Jesus Christ (He is Lord of all) - you yourselves know the thing which took place throughout all Judea, starting from Galilee, after the baptism which John proclaimed. You know of Jesus of Nazareth, how God anointed Him with the Holy Spirit and with power, and how He went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed by the devil, for God was with Him. We are witnesses of all the things He did both in the land of the Jews and in Jerusalem (how awesome is that for us as followers two millenia later?). They also put Him to death by hanging Him on a cross. God raised Him up on the third day and granted that He become visible, not to all the people, but to witnesses who were chosen beforehand by God, that is, to us who ate and drank with Him after He arose from the dead. And He ordered us to preach to the people, and solemnly to testify that this is the One who has been appointed by God as Judge of the living and the dead. Of Him all the prophets bear witness that through His name everyone who believes in Him receives forgiveness of sins."

What an awesome word for people who are going to another nation to preach this news to people who have never heard it!

Another interesting idea - Peter writes that Jesus was appointed by God as "Judge of the living and the dead." Elsewhere, Paul writes that Jesus is our "Advocate" - what we know today as a defense attorney. Thus, when we put our faith in Christ, we have as Judge our D.A. That gives a whole new meaning to blessed assurance! If we accept Christ, the courtroom is rigged in our favor!

I received an email from my brother-in-law yesterday about spiritual warfare against pastors in our nation and across the world. At the end of the message, this prayer appeared. Although originally intended as a prayer for one's pastor, I thought it was also pertinent for my India group.

Here is the prayer message below. Use it to pray for us and your pastor!



So how can you pray for our group? Scripture provides the answer! We should pray that God will:

USE US to spread God's Word and that it will be received with honor (II Thess. 3:1).
DELIVER US from those who oppose him and the gospel (II Thess. 3:2; Romans 15:30, 31).
GIVE US opportunities to share the Word and the whole gospel (Col. 4:2-4).
MAKE US bold and faithful to continue proclaiming the gospel no matter what the cost (Eph. 6:19, 20).
GIVE US godly knowledge and insight (Eph. 1:8) so that we can grasp the greatness of the hope (Rom. 8:29; I John 3:2) and the inheritance that is ours in Christ (Eph. 1:17, 18).
HELP US to understand God's great power that is always available to us (Eph. 1:18, 19).
GIVE US peace in the midst of the storms that come upon us (II Thess. 3:16; Phil. 4:6, 7).
BE GLORIFIED as we walk worthy of the calling we've been given (II Thess. 1:12).

Also we must pray that we:

DRESS IN the complete armor of God every day (Eph. 6:10-18); and,
BEHAVE consistently with our identity in Jesus Christ (II Thess. 1:11).



Thanks, Patrick!

Worship as a Weapon

YESTERDAY, SOME OF OUR GROUP MEMBERS MET AND SANG SONGS OF WORSHIP AND PRAYED. IT WAS AN AMAZING DEMONSTRATION OF UNITY IN THE HOLY SPIRIT. CARLOS, A MEMBER OF THE WORSHIP TEAM, LED US ON GUITAR. HE BEGAN WITH SOME INSIGHTS INTO WHAT WORSHIP IS AND IS NOT. "IT IS NOT A MUSIC STYLE, BUT A LIFE STYLE." IN OTHER WORDS, WORSHIP IS NOT SOMETHING WE DO, BUT RATHER HOW WE LIVE - ARE WE LIVING IN THE FULL KNOWLEDGE OF OUR SALVATION AND THAT JESUS IS LORD AND RULER OF OUR LIVES? HE ALSO TALKED ABOUT WORSHIP AS A POWERFUL PROTECTIVE WEAPON. "WHERE MANY PEOPLE ARE WORSHIPING GOD, NO EVIL WANTS TO BE AROUND TO WITNESS IT." THIS LAST INSIGHT IS PARTICULARLY COMFORTING AND INSPIRING.

"Whether it is Right..."

"Whether it is right in the sight of God to obey you rather than God, you be the judge; for we cannot stop talking about what we have seen or heard."

A week ago, I felt led to pick up Acts and study it up to the day we leave for India. I started four days ago, and nine chapters through, I have read so much that impacted me that I did not know where to begin.

That is, until tonight, until after watching "The Half-Blood Prince." (Full review to come later)

Editor's Note: Many Christians (including many dear to me) become flummoxed because of the main premise of the books: they detail the life of an up-and-coming wizard in his wizarding world, replete with side stories about all his wizard friends (and enemies). White magic or dark, it matters not: it's magic and thus, occultic. A Christian has no part in it. Mainly, I oppose this type of reasoning because, a. it assumes the Christian cannot ask the Holy Spirit for spiritual discernment to locate what is godly and what is not, and b. discourages any attempt to exercise spiritual and intellectual discernment.

Near the end of the film, Albus Dumbledore gives a condition to the main character, Harry, in order for Harry to be able to accompany him on a very important mission to help him recover an artifact that will help them destroy the evil Lord Voldemort. He tells Harry, "It is vitally important that you do everything I say exactly as I say it." (That's a paraphrase).

More to come on that tomorrow...

Back from My Roots

One trip down...two to go.

Like my mom said last night, India is becoming more real because the other major trip I planned this summer (being in Indiana) is done. One of the issues our group prayed about this week (in fact, it was yesterday) is that God would calm our anxieties, worries, and illnesses. I had not felt anxious about the trip until the past two or three days in Indiana. So, I continue to pray for those to subside - they mainly have to do with what I will be able to do for the group and whether I will be able to do it.

Today, our group prayed as a unit that we would not underestimate what God can do through us. Funny how that works out, right? Also quite incoincidentally, I read in Acts 3 today about how Peter healed a man who had been lame for many years in Jesus' name. He spoke to people who saw or heard it occur and were in disbelief for the second chapter, or major miracle, in a row.

"And on the basis of faith in His name, it is the name of Jesus which has strengthened this man whom you see and know; and the faith which comes through Him has given him this perfect health in the presence of you all."

"Lord, use us to speak Your name and the healing that comes with it into many people's lives on our journey. Your name is more powerful than we can imagine. Don't allow us to put Your power in a box. In Jesus' name, Amen."

"Men of Israel, listen to these words: Jesus the Nazarene, a man attested to you by God with miracles and wonders and signs which God performed through Him in your midst, just as you yourselves know--

this Man, delivered over by the predetermined plan and foreknowledge of God, you nailed to a cross by the hands of godless men and put Him to death.

"But God raised Him up again, putting an end to the agony of death, since it was impossible for Him to be held in its power.

"For David says of Him,
'I SAW THE LORD ALWAYS IN MY PRESENCE;
FOR HE IS AT MY RIGHT HAND, SO THAT I WILL NOT BE SHAKEN.
'THEREFORE MY HEART WAS GLAD AND MY TONGUE EXULTED;
MOREOVER MY FLESH ALSO WILL LIVE IN HOPE;
BECAUSE YOU WILL NOT ABANDON MY SOUL TO HADES,
NOR ALLOW YOUR HOLY ONE TO UNDERGO DECAY.
'YOU HAVE MADE KNOWN TO ME THE WAYS OF LIFE;
YOU WILL MAKE ME FULL OF GLADNESS WITH YOUR PRESENCE.'

The author of Acts wrote that Peter spoke these words to a group of Jews from the diaspora in Jerusalem not long after Christ's resurrection. There are powerful ideas behind these words.

The idea that the generation that saw Jesus saw His mighty power, rejected it, and killed Him.

The idea that God had this planned out from eternity.

The idea that God raised Jesus again, and that it was impossible for death to keep hold of Him.

The idea that Christ makes known to people the way of life and that His presence makes people full of gladness.

I look at my own life and wonder: Do I look at His presence in my life with the full measure of gladness that David wrote about? That is my prayer.

Jesus, I want your presence in my life to be nothing less than full gladness in my heart. You submitted to a cruel death, but it had no power to hold you in its grip. Thank you for showing that there is no greater love than to lay down one's life for another. As our group travels to India, prepare us to lay down our lives for one another and the people we encounter, however that may look. Calm our anxieties, nerves, and illnesses. My conversation with mom tonight showed me that this trip is becoming more real and I want to take full advantage of every opportunity. Turn our group members' anxieties into action - action to accomplish what You want us to accomplish!

Peter ended with the following words to those in Jerusalem who asked him who would benefit from the actions of this Nazarene.

"For the promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off, as many as the Lord our God will call to Himself."

God is always calling people to Himself. Do you hear Him?

Acts of the Apostles

Lately, I have felt the call to read the book of Acts before I embark on this planned journey to India. I do not remember a time before now when I had given any thought as to why the fifth book in the New Testament canon is referred to as the "Acts of the Apostles." And then I asked a question - "What could the title be otherwise?"

"The Sayings of the Apostles?" Or, maybe, "The Musings of the Apostles?" Certainly those are included in the account. Yet, the traditional title has been "The Acts of the Apostles." I think that specific word is significant - Acts. The author and those who read it saw the main theme to be how those men who had abandoned Jesus at the time of his arrest turn around and act on their knowledge of who Jesus is - the resurrected Lord and Savior of humankind.

And with that, I'm going to dig in (and make sure my musings are accurate).

Prayer for today:

Lord, your will is for unity in the body. Form our group into a smaller version of your body - unify us in Your name for Your purposes and don't let us divide. We have different skills sets, levels of faith, and levels of comfort, but we have acted on your call to make Your name and kingdom famous in the world. We trust in Your power to unite us and accomplish through us what You want to accomplish. It is a vast power, but it's also humble. It causes us to consider others better than ourselves and take on the form of a servant. That's when You say we are great - that's Your example. Let us see the eternal value of that greatness and act the same. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Seeking

Since being with my family in Indiana, I have really fell off writing for this blog daily. And I have justified in my mind why this is so. "I am here only for a limited amount of time and I want to savor all my time with my family, so I will wait until late to read the word and pray." When it comes to that time, though, I am too tired to do it. This is that same old cycle from which I thought God broke me last fall.

My sister answered that line of thinking well today when she said, "Yes, but it's like I do with my son - I need a quiet time every day and I tell Dylan when it's going to happen." In other words, it's a simple matter of prioritizing. My problem? I am not prioritizing God at times I know He is telling me to do so.

This has been at the back of my conscience all trip...that is, until Bridget sent our India group an email that essentially asked an important question: "Are you seeking God right now?" It was our prayer yesterday - that every member of our group would be on fire, seeking for God and to understand the freedom Jesus brings. Unfortunately, I forgot my binder with our prayer calendar at home in LA, so I completely forgot to be praying for specific things along with the entire group on the same day.

Fortunately, I received the prayer list via email (Thank God for iPhones and email) and acted on my convictions immediately. Today's topic is to pray that "our testimonies and words will be used by God." I know that He will prompt me to say what the people I meet need to hear. I already do know that He will use me and the parable of the Good Samaritan to make me and th people who hear me to reevaluate what it means to love others.

Thank you, Jesus, for showing us what true love is. Make my words and actions true love on a daily basis.

An Independence Day Prayer

Father, thank You for this day of independence - a day when I like to reflect on my independence from the bondage of the world. I ask You to provide freedom from bondage for those I encounter in India who need it. I know that bondage can take many forms, some of which I know will surprise me. Whatever the forms, send your Holy Spirit to proclaim freedom for them from what entraps them and to love and serve You and their neighbors.

In Jesus' name, Amen.

My (So-Called) Dating Life

I used to focus on finding a beautiful girl and getting into a relationship with her. Often, it was at the cost of other areas of my life, like my social and work lives. I'm not sure why it was so important to me. Maybe it was to enhance my perceived status with others. Maybe it was to boost my confidence. If I had a beautiful girlfriend who adored me, I would have a one-up on someone who didn't, right? Or, maybe I just wanted to make out. Perhaps it was a combination of all of the above. (It definitely had to include option 3).

Whatever was the reason for it, I "set the woman up on the highest pedestal" in my life, as my good friend Tye once told me. But my highest priorities in a woman "on the highest pedal" usually had little to do with her character. If I can be very frank, I was almost always more interested in her charm and beauty. Don't get me wrong, I do not believe these are characteristics one should not look for in a female. But they are far from the vital characteristics. That is, unless you want to go insane over the long-haul (which you very well may regardless).

As I am getting older, however, and since my last relationship ended almost a year ago, I have begun looking for other characteristics in my future "significant other," those that are not as "deceptive" and "fleeting" as charm and beauty. Believe me, I have dated some women with amazing character. But, I figure that because I am getting older, any woman I date now will most likely have the characteristics of someone whom I will eventually marry. It is not 100% probable, but it is still probable. So, I figure I better look for someone whose thoughts and actions closely mirror those I aspire to now. And, as a corollary, I better begin thinking and acting to the standard I aspire to now. No sense in "regressing," as my roommate Karyn says.

As I have been spending a lot more time in the Bible in the past 10 months than I ever have before, I came across some provoking questions to ask about someone I want to date and potentially marry. They are my list of priorities in a potential mate:
-Does she love and fear the Lord? (Proverbs 31:30)
-Can I have full confidence in her in all aspects of her life? (31:11)
-Would she bring good, and not harm, to my life? (31:12)
-Does she work vigorously and wisely to profit and provide for herself and those close to her? (31:13-19)
-Does she care for the needy? (31:20)
-Does she plan ahead for hard times? (31:21-22)
-Would her life bring me respect and praise? (31:23)
-Does she exhibit strength and dignity? (31:25)
-Does she speak wisdom and instruct faithfully? (31:26)
-Does she wisely attend to her affairs? (31:27)
-Would I be able to praise her for her thoughts and actions? (31:28-29)
Naturally, many of these questions make me turn inward to my own thoughts and actions. Do my own thoughts and actions square up with these standards?
More important than my focus on a future mate is my focus on who I am in Christ. (My friend Whitney called me on this one - Thanks, Whit!) This idea leads me to some further priorities:
-Do I take each thought captive and make it obedient to Christ - to make it in line with Him? (2 Cor. 10:5)
-Do I meditate on God's word day and night so that I can act it out? (Joshua 1:8, James 1:25)
-Do I think and act as though I know that Jesus is the "way, the truth, and the life," and that no one sees God except through Him? (John 14:6)
-Do I love God and love my neighbor as myself? (Matthew 22:36-40)
I will add more and more priorities as time goes on. But these seem to be enough priorities for several lifetimes, let alone the only one I'm guaranteed here on Earth. And if I were to evaluate myself honestly, I don't know if I'd be passing. And if I were to have my friends evaluate me on these, I wonder how they would respond...

Perhaps it's time for some rearranging, some "summer cleaning" before India. I'm going to preach much of these latter priorities there, and only if necessary would I like to use words.

My Brother's...or Sister's...Keeper pt. 2

Rather than continue with all the issues the film brought to the viewer's attention, I want to focus on a line in the poem about which I had an important question.

When her sister Kate dies, Anna writes that nothing great came of her death. "There were no buildings named after her or monuments erected in her honor," were her main qualifications for what it meant to have something "great" come from one's death. The minute I heard this, I asked myself, "What about having a building named after a person or a monument erected in a person's honor makes him or her 'great' in death?" I am fascinated that these were the qualifications for Anna for her sister's death to have been great.

What about Kate's caring so much for the dignity of both her and sister's lives that she told Anna to sue her parents for the rights to her own body so that neither of them would be sliced open continually for the sake of the preservation of Kate's currently terrible state? Was it not an act of sacrifice for Kate to refuse the idea that her sister be her natural organ harvest? Did Kate not see a greater meaning for Anna's life than to be her personal organ harvest, when even with Anna's kidney she would not regain health but only be prevented from further downward spiral? What did Anna believe is the meaning of life? Surely for Kate, it was something more than the "reason" her mother had Anna - to serve as a genetically perfect match for Kate in case she needed any organs. She wanted a life for Anna that included the ability to have children and participate fully in physical activities in her adolescent years, and the ability to CHOOSE for herself what to do with her body, when, where, and for what reason. She steadfastly refused to allow Anna to be used to keep herself alive. And yet, at the end, Anna does not mention it.

Why wouldn't she mention it? Quite simply, Kate did not see the meaning of her life as sitting in bed as her body wasted away slowly, or its corollary, receiving new organs so that she could continue to sit in bed as the REST of her body wasted away slowly. "Time [was] up," and the family needed to accept it. And thus, her choice to refuse Anna's body parts for help seemed to be made more out of a personal choice than a sacrificial choice. And as a consequence, Anna did not see her sister's death as something meaningful.

I think Sartre's words illuminate Anna's thoughts on her sister's life: "A man is involved in life, leaves his impress on it, and outside of that there is nothing." To Anna, Kate was involved in life, had enjoyable experiences with her family, and outside of that, there was nothing else.

Another interesting question I have is whether Kate felt the kind of anguish, forlornness, and despair Sartre talked about. My initial thoughts are no. I do not think Kate was a complete existentialist. But she did seem hopeless and resigned to her "fate".

From a Christian perspective, I want to compare and contrast the story of Kate's battle with cancer in the film and that of my friend Richard Felipe's battle with cancer in real life. Like Kate, Richard lost his battle. Besides the similarity in the end results, the stories leading up to the end look completely different. Nowhere in the film did I see Kate sure of the reasons for her cancer, the fact that she could heal, nor what would happen if she did not heal. Richard was. Throughout his battle, I saw him take joy in his trial, because it was making him more like Jesus, who also suffered immensely in his life. I also heard him and many of our brothers and sisters say, "We are sure he can be healed." And yet, they also said, "But there is no less glory if God decides not to heal him." Because all were sure that many lives would be changed for the better because of how they saw Richard live in spite of his cancer. And they were sure that people would see the powerful influence of this "Jesus" character on his thoughts, attitudes, and actions. And lastly, Richard knew that when and if he died, he would immediately be with his Lord in heaven, a place of rejoicing and worshiping God for eternity.

At the end of the film, I did not see Kate living her life to serve others. Yet, our pastor made it a point to say often in the days and weeks leading up to Richard's death, "Richard is living for others." When he saw people in the hospital, he asked what he could do for them. He believed so much that those who did not know Jesus needed to know Him to live eternally that he shared the gospel with as many as would listen. And in spite of his worn condition at church three weeks before his death, I saw him standing and praising God during our worship time, with a facial expression that spelled "peace." The fruits of the Spirit were alive in him, because he made pleasing God by living by Jesus' example his number one priority. He was truly living out the two greatest commandments: to love God and to love one's neighbor as oneself (Matthew 22:37-40). I am truly convicted to live more and more according to Richard's example.

Prayer for India: Jesus, I want to have the same heart as Richard, to live to please You as an example to others. I know this means that I must share more how vitally important Your sacrifice was to truly live, to love others as much as I love myself, and to love You by keeping Your "light burden." Thank you for what you did in Richard's life and his example to the world of Your amazing love, mercy, and compassion. May his life continue to bring You a harvest despite the fact that he is gone from this world.

My Brother's...or Sister's...Keeper

*PLOT SPOILER ALERT*

Teach for America invited me tonight to a pre-screening of the film "My Sister's Keeper" at the Grove. The film's writer raised some pertinent questions about the issues of freedom and the meaning of life in the script. Afterward, I had the chance to discuss the film with my roommate, David, in both a Christian and a non-Christian context. I am going to attempt to discuss these "hot topic" issues from several points of view. Pardon my paraphrasing at times...but I think I did comprehend the most important points of the film enough to analyze it.

There are two main questions related to the issue of freedom that arise in the film. The first could read, "Is it right to freely forsake all opportunities to regain health and choose one's own certain death in the context of one's immense suffering?" The doctor applied practically all treatments to the leukemia-laden older sister, Kate, and all failed. There was at least one hope left, of course: her younger sister would be a perfect match to donate a kidney, which she needed because hers had both failed. At that point, however, Kate comments that her mother would eventually have her "chopped into so many pieces we can't even count...2,000 petri dishes full of Kate..." And this all presumably to keep her body from fully succumbing to cancer. In other words, Kate's mother will go so far as to reduce her to nothing in her quest to keep her from dying of cancer. And frankly, Kate's had enough of the pain, the brokenness, and the destruction of her body merely to keep it alive. She doesn't want the kidney transplant that would restore her endocrine system. She tells her baby sister, "It's come to the end," and she implies that her family needs to accept it.

To be continued tomorrow...

Faith

After sleeping only five hours last night and attending a gifted and talented conference for 7 hours today, I was pretty exhausted. Plus, I still had a case study due for my Counseling course at church. When my friend called me, clearly fresh off a crying session, and said she was coming over, my flesh said, "I have things to do." Yet, I immediately prayed and asked the Holy Spirit to renew a right spirit in my heart and to give me the words and demeanor to comfort her in whatever was bothering her. After this small prayer, I felt lighter and more willing to help.

I walked outside and sat down with her on the porch. I was ready to listen. As she talked about her own situation, I asked myself if I would react to her situation as faithfully as she has. For the past several months, she has endured quite a bit of suffering in different areas of her life. And I have rarely heard her complain. Normally, she responds with, "God will/is tak(e)(ing) care of it," and she has meant it. It has been an awesome example for me, who is too easily prone to complaining and whining. However, today was different. Today, she was very upset about the people around her who are suffering so much and why it has to be so.

She vented her frustration for several minutes and I launched my own response. Yet, I quickly realized that I wasn't helping. One part of me reminded me how much I had to write in the next two hours. The other part of me reminded me to pray to the Spirit for the right response. We sat silently for several moments and I resumed a much lighter and more Spirit-led response. I reminded her that she has those close friends and family to show her their amazing faith in the midst of suffering; that they are not suffering purposelessly, as existentialists believe. Rather, because we believe in redemption in this life and a life to come, this suffering is intended for the good and reward of those undergoing it. And that will come at a time when it's most needed, since "all things work together for the good of those who love God." Our worldly perspectives are so small - what we intend or think occurs for evil, God uses for good. Even our friend Richard's death has served to bring many to Christ, and some even closer to Him than they already were.

As I was telling her this, it reminded me of the discussion I attended in my former Great Books class about Kierkegaard's view of faith and suffering. My former professor, Dr. Gose, values Fear and Trembling because it shed new light on the role suffering plays in a Christian's more complete understanding of faith in Christ, and the fact that our faith, which others may not understand, may cause us to suffer in ways no one else can comprehend. This was one of my friend's main complaints - why do those close to her have to undergo such intense suffering? I think Kierkegaard provides a thought-provoking portion of the answer.

By the time she left, she felt much better. I think I shifted her "paradigm" on this issue from "Why is so much evil happening to people who are so faithful to God?" to "How is their faith in God shaping their response to that evil?" And, I finished my case study on anger and forgiveness in a little under an hour, which must be a world record!

To be honest, I haven't felt pain like my friend has experienced yet. My main prayer is that when I do, I will take it to the one who suffered the turning of His Father's back on Him for the salvation of humanity. Peter wrote almost a couple thousand years ago about the purpose of our suffering in this life. "For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth,

and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously; and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed."

If you are suffering today, know that His wounds have healed you, if you will accept them.

Prayer for India:

Jesus, You suffered so much for humanity and You love them regardless of whether they love You or not. I admit that I haven't lived up to Your perfect ways and that I need your forgiveness. Thank you for offering it so freely to me. As I prepare for India, remind me day in and day out that faith in You is not cheap and that it requires me to empty myself of everything I want and need. Give me strength to start that process. In Your name, Amen.

Anger

As I read tonight from my Counseling book, I came across the section on anger once more. The first day's passages from "Anger" deal with the heavenly attitude towards wrong done to someone personally. In this case, I obviously read it as it pertained to my life.

Specifically, I was hit by Romans 12:21, which reads, "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." It struck me because to act this out requires a completely different attitude that one we are naturally accustomed to take when we feel wronged. More poignantly, it struck me because I do not have this heavenly, godly attitude working for the most part in my life. And nowhere is this more visible than when I step onto a soccer field (or into any other competitive arena - heck, I am competitive when I play Uno with my 10 year-old nephew).

As many know, I play soccer at least once a week at USC's Cromwell Track and Field. Normally, students and people from the neighborhood mingle and play pickup "footie" matches. Sunday night is the normally scheduled night. However, I am out of school now and that means any night is fair game. Over the past week, I have retaliated several times against people for playing too physically or unfairly. Sometimes, these retaliations have been completely unwarranted. Even worse, some of them have been worse than the original "wrong."

As I read some of the verses dealing with anger, I felt convicted about how little discretion and how much foolishness I show in retaliating. I am not "pursuing peace with all men" when I do this (Hebrews 12:14-15), nor am I "looking at others as more important than myself" (Philippians 2:3-5). And I do not act this way only on the soccer field. It shows up in my classroom and at my home.

Therefore, I resolve to meditate on Hebrews 12:14-15, Proverbs 15:1, Philippians 2:3-5, 14, and Proverbs 19:11 to help reshape and remold my attitude. My roommate Tom and I had a discussion this evening about how our brains must be rewired to change our behaviors, through both thinking and practice. This helped me realize that I can't change much without putting change into practice. Although, I also know I need to pray for help from the Holy Spirit. Dwelling on this Scripture will help me remember to act differently, which in turn, will change my attitudes even more so. Thus, a never-ending cycle of goodness flowing into my mind and out to my actions, preparing me to respond lovingly to situations which might have angered me before!

Prayer for the Day

Jesus, help me to remember your sacrifice on the cross more and more every day, so that I can have your attitude: considering others better than myself. I am so weak to do this, because I can be very selfish. Yet, convict me with the Holy Spirit to cease from anger, forsake wrath, and overlook transgressions in love. Give me the strength to love those who don't love me, because you love them.

Thank You Letters

Today, I spent some time with my new housemate, Karyn (Tim's sister), creating thank you cards for those that have supported me financially or through prayer to my knowledge as of June 12th. It was an excellent exercise in reminiscing to pick out different pictures that reminded me in some way of you awesome, generous, and gracious people. Your support reminds me that Jesus wants something awesome done in India, and that the Holy Spirit is working in many hearts and minds to make it possible to get there and carry out His purposes.

Today's prayer: "Father, give each of us group members the opportunities to to make growth in the areas in which we're weak. Be our strength in these areas and call us time after time to do Your will with every step we take on our trip."

"How do I sign up?"

It is 2:30 on Sunday morning and this really should have been my third hour of sleep, considering I must be up for 10:00 church. Yet, I have felt the Holy Spirit tugging me to create this blog so that those who wish may come and see what He is doing in me as He prepares me for my mission trip in India.

First, I have made my focus verse for this trip John 4:35, which in the NASB reads, "Do you not say, 'There are yet four months, and then comes the harvest'? Behold, I say to you, lift up your eyes and look on the fields, that they are white for harvest.'" I must say that my house on 2900 Walton is a field ripe for harvest itself. Yet, ever since my roommate from my freshman year at Pepperdine, and his wife, returned from their first year of marriage in South Korea last October and told me of their ministry there, I have desired to travel to Asia with the purpose of sharing the good news of Jesus Christ. This past February, my friend Whitney Roth, with whom I completed credentialing classes, informed me that the church she previously attended was organizing a mission trip to India. I immediately asked her, "How do I sign up?"

After filling out an application and, a couple months later, interviewing, Larry called me and said that he could not wait to have me on the team. And, I learned that my friend Whitney would be a member of the team, too. Although I know I could work with a group whose members I had never met before, it was very comforting to know that one of these members would actually be someone I know quite well.

As of today, we have now had four meetings, which occur every two Sundays. I am part of the speaking and drama teams and part of my responsibility is to develop at least one 15 minute message on some aspect of Christ's love with an accompanying dramatic presentation of the Scripture on which the message is based. If you feel led, please pray that the Holy Spirit will continue to give me the words that those in my household, my life in LA, and in India need to hear about the sacrificial love and salvation of Jesus of Nazareth.

For future reference, I will end each entry with my prayer for the day for India.

"You have loved me when I have been selfish, rebellious, and even when I have turned my back on You, God. Thank You that I must not earn your love. I pray that You will continue to allow me to dwell on the fact that You love me unconditionally, that Your love has covered my sins, and that it should transform my thoughts and actions into Your thoughts and actions, which glorify You."